How to Stop Living in The Land of Should
Do you find yourself mentally replaying what you think you “should have done?” From time-to-time, many of us get caught in an echo of the possibility of an alternative outcome. This “if-only” mindset can be a trap that keeps us stuck in the past wishing things were different or complicating our future decisions with an agenda that is often unnecessary or impossible to live up to.
So, how do you stop these alternative scripts from eroding the present moment? Telling yourself that you “should be” doing something robs you of the things you are doing and works to obliterate both your energy and your current successes. Fear lives in the Land of Should and fear works hard to support you in self-sabotaging behaviors.
You always have a choice.
“Should” is not a part of that equation. When you focus on what you “should be doing” you negate and compromise your present energy robbing yourself of action and traction on what you desire most. Next time you have a brain battle with what you “should do” try replacing those thoughts with what you “could do.” What you “could do” opens the door to today and helps you to decide from a place of possibility. Could is a choice. Should is a reprimand, indicating you somehow got it wrong before.
Then activate these 3 steps:
Check Facts. Who says that you “should be doing whatever it is that you think you should be doing?” Often this is the well-meaning guidance of others, yet it may not hold any real meaning for you. Following the pack may not be the reality you seek. So, ask yourself, “Is this “should” true for me?” Stay accountable to making decisions that reflect productivity but allow in personal and professional innovation as well. Perhaps what you feel you should do, or should have done, is not the thing you need to do next! Stay in the moment on making decisions that align with and support the results you are seeking. Instead of getting caught in the web of what may have been, or following the plans of what others believe, get clear on what you think and feel and empower and act on that.
Focus on what you “get to do” rather than on what you are rethinking that you should be doing. What you get to do is uplifting and empowering and from a place of election and abundance. If you feel like you should be doing something else, flip the script on your thoughts and ask yourself, “What do I get to do?” Then do that!
Celebrate successes. Even the smallest success negates the boldest self-sabotaging thought. By focusing on your wins, you clear away a scarcity mindset of what you think you should be doing and replace it with what you are currently doing that is working. Make a daily list of successes and recap at the end of the week. Creating a habit of success will reaffirm what is possible and downplay negativity.
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