Confidence is a life-long dance with feelings and expectations. It is a hug you give to yourself.
The older I get, the more confident I have become. What I have learned is that self-confidence is something that only I can take ownership of for me. No one can make me more assured or independent, and no number of compliments or praise from others can take the place of me believing in me.
Personally, as well as in my work as a coach, I have developed a few tried-and-true confidence rituals. These self-imposed manifestations and practices can be easily referenced whenever you need a self-worth boost. They are tools to use and re-use as needed to generate an elevated and more productive mindset. A “cool you mindset” that energizes how you feel about you! The best part is that they also combat fear and overwhelm and support more clarity and action. When used effectively, they support decision-making that results in successful change and goals gotten. Give these ideas a chance, try them consistently for a week or a month, and see what works best to inspire you forward.
Here are a 4 of my favorites:
Curate a Success Inventory. Writing down your wins big or small validates self-worth and documents success. It is harder to sabotage your brilliance if you have written proof that you are in fact successful. This inventory list can be done weekly, or as needed as a factual self-leadership tool. A success inventory provides an instant self-compliment and a reason to celebrate.
Have a daily voice. Talk to yourself! Your relationship with YOU is the most extensive one you will ever have. Say your goals and dreams out loud! Your ideas come to life when you make them audible each morning in front of a mirror. Listen in to yourself and reflect on what you are saying. What do you need to tweak? How can you connect your to-do list directly to your dream list? Validate what is working. Shift what is not.
Stay current. When you feel vulnerable or overwhelmed, ask yourself, “How can I stay in the conversation with myself on this project, idea, relationship, or task?” Your answer unlocks your next steps and a boost to your confidence because it anchors you in the moment. From the vantage point of right now, what can be done? Your certainty can unravel when you spend too much time in your head. Staying current keeps you out of the past and the future and inspires you to work with what is currently possible.
Start from the middle. Self-worth is often eroded at the intersection of fear and indecision. If this happens to you, implement a best case/worst case mantra. Write down the very worst thing that could happen if you take a risk. Then write down the very best scenario that could unfold if you allowed it to. Then marry the two. That mid-point is your restart. When you feel unworthy you are overthinking and allowing your fears to lead your choices. Starting from the marriage of your worst thoughts and your best ideas promotes a repositioning tool for decision-making and action. Based on this mid-point, what is possible now?
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