Why risk it? Isn’t vulnerability too hot to handle?
Being vulnerable is being. It is about creating an aura that resonates with who you really are.
It may feel uncomfortable, yet it is the most comfortable place you can reside. No games. No pretend. Just you. When “just you” shows up at work, in a marriage, on a date, with a friend, anything is possible, because real is real. It may feel like an intrusion but allowing yourself to be authentically seen and known is a pathway to self-acceptance and a key to leading and empowering a life and a legacy that you love.
The thing is…vulnerably and love are entwined.
To be understood, accepted, and heard, one must reveal who they are in a realistic and consistent way. Otherwise, any relationship forged, even one with oneself, is superficial and lacking substance and depth. While being vulnerable can be scary, it is the only way to build a meaningful bond that will stand the test of time. Permitting yourself to be loved is the only way that one can love. Not revealing your truth is like being an actor in a play. Once the performance ends, the show is over.
What gets in the way of being vulnerable?
Fear is the number one challenge. Everyone wants to be accepted and liked and it can sometimes be difficult to risk not being respected or understood for who you are. Rejection hurts. Judgement stings. When you show up as a version of yourself that you believe others want to see, you are essentially building fake relationships. The biggest fake relationship in that instance is with yourself. The result is that you will feel as if you lost your place in line, a bit like you don’t fit into your own life.
Not tapping into what makes you unique, by default, makes you pedestrian. This creates a spiral of disbelief and self-sabotage that enables excuses instead of achievements. You need to see it to believe it, and if you are hiding it, you are not seeing it! Change is only possible with when you empower belief and act on that idea.
Here are 3 skillset resets for expanding vulnerability:
Be consistent. Demanding this of oneself will support resetting a true reveal of who you are as reflected in today. It is harder to “act a part” if challenged to show up and hold your own repeatedly. Being consistent is meaningful because it requires you to make decisions that spearhead self-leadership and support you in achieving your goals. Being consistent one must be present. The authenticity in consistency is organic and more manageable from the perspective of what you can do today.
Meet people where they are. Being present means meeting the moment, others, and oneself exactly where they are. Too often we engage from the perspective of what we believe someone wants to see, or we make decisions based on past versions of who we were. By consistently meeting others where they are, we meet ourselves genuinely as well.
Ask. That is a big one since it is common to hold back on one’s own needs while embracing someone else’s. Over time, simply tolerating situations will erode a relationship because it throws off the balance and the give-and-take necessary for the relationship to function and thrive. Creating a habit of being curious, of asking for what you need, of simply having a voice, opens the door to standing more powerfully in your own shoes. Being more vulnerable is being in choice on saying “yes” or “no” and on editing and updating your life and your business with boundaries and decisions that elevate and celebrate those choices.
When you stop tolerating you reduce anger, increase energy, and activate acceptance. Self-acceptance is the starting point but accepting others for who they are refocuses your perspectives and reboots growth because it requires you to fact check ideas and beliefs and even people that may be holding you back. Asking begins with you. What is important to you now? Allow your answer to that question to authentically leads you forward.
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